shows paintings in progress from start to finish, stories of growing up Mennonite
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
I don't have a current picture of "Fighter" to post, but I have been working on it quite steadily the last few weeks. Something new has been happening a lot lately.....I'm gaining more and more confidence in myself and my work. This to me is quite astounding. I have never forgotten Ron Sherr (my painting instructor back in the early 90's at the Art Students' League of New York) telling me that the one thing that I lacked was confidence. And I remember the fear that it struck in me...instead of seeing it as an observation that could lend itself to helping me, I saw it as....... a death curse. I thought that because he said that, I would be cursed with a lack of self-confidence for the rest of my life. It has taken me a loo---ooo---oong time to believe in myself as an artist, but also as a human being capable of living a productive, prosperous and successful existence. I was telling one of my students today in class that a couple of years back I had been listening to an audio-book, Success is a Choice, by Rick Pitino. The senctence "positive thinking is a discipline" was a total newsflash to me. I thought that positive thinking was something that might or might not happen around 2 in the afternoon, maybe once every 2-3 weeks. I had a pretty serious and monumental problem with negativity. It took a really good therapist, a lot of positive thinking and even some good meds to help pull me out of the dungeon of self-doubt. Oh and building a belief in something wonderful, good and powerful that could nurture and sustain me, my soul. All this stuff is what helped to create "Fighter", which to me tells the story of this most personal battle.